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Marriage Counseling Frisco TX

Keep your love alive: A quick little activity

By | Couples Counseling Frisco TX, Marriage Counseling Frisco TX, Marriage Counselor Frisco TX, Marriage Counselors Frisco TX | No Comments

 

blog article. loving daysblog article. loving days

Here’s a marriage enhancement activity that we at Center for Marriage and Family Counseling recommend to some of our couples. Now you can do it too. If you do this with your spouse, follow all of the steps, and refrain from criticizing each other during the activity, the end result will only be that you and your spouse feel more loved. This activity comes from  Dr. Norman Cobb, a professor at the University of Texas at Arlington in the Master’s of Social Work Department, and a gifted counselor.

Rationale

It is normal and acceptable for people to ask for what they want and need from their partner. It’s really. The request for a partner’s actions is a “gift.” It’s a “gift” for your partner because it helps your partner know how you feel loved and cared for. It’s a “gift” for you because it will help you receive what you want and need from your partner. The benefits will be reciprocal.

Steps

  1. Independently, make a list of things that your partner could do that would help you feel “loved and cared for.” Items must be:
  • Easy and quick
  • Free or, at least, very cheap
  • Not involve overtly sexual acts
  • Easily repeatable
  1. Exchange lists with your partner and ask for clarifications.
  1. Take your partner’s list home, place it somewhere you will see it often, and do one or a few of their partner’s requested actions.
  1. When your partner does one of the actions on your list, notice how you feel, and if possible, share this with your partner.

lovingdays

How emotionally responsive is your partner?: Dr. Sue Johnson’s A.R.E. Questionnaire

By | Marriage Counseling Frisco TX, Marriage Counselor Frisco TX, Marriage Counselors Frisco TX | No Comments

Blog article How emotionally repsonsive is your partner picBlog article How emotionally repsonsive is your partner pic

This quiz comes from marriage expert Dr. Sue Johnson, in her Hold Me Tight Program. Sue Johnson is the creator of the effective Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT). EFT has a huge success rate. EFT works for 75% of couples! At Center for Marriage and Family Counseling, we use EFT in our work with couples. We also hold Hold Me Tight Retreats a couple of times a year, where couples can receive intensive training and therapy and learn to reconnect.

Take this questionnaire twice. First, answer the questions about your partner, about how Accessible, Responsive, and Engaged your partner is with you. Second, answer the questions a second time, but this time, answer the questions about yourself. This tip comes from Becca Jorgensen, PhD., an outstanding EFT Trainer, and Shane’s EFT mentor. Answer the questions again, this time focusing on how Accessible, Responsive, and Engaged you are with your partner.

Alright here is the questionnaire.

Accessibility: From your viewpoint, is your partner accessible to you?

  1. I can get my partner’s attention easily. T F
  2. My partner is easy to connect with emotionally. T F
  3. My partner shows me that I come first with him/her. T F
  4. I am not feeling lonely or shut out in this relationship. T F
  5. I can share my deepest feelings with my partner. He/she will listen. T F

Responsiveness: From your viewpoint is your partner responsive to you?

  1. If I need connection and comfort, he/she will be there for me. T F
  2. My partner responds to signals that I need him/her to come close. T F
  3. I find I can lean on my partner when I am anxious or unsure. T F
  4. Even when we fight or disagree, I know that I am important to my partner and we will find a way to come together. T F
  5. If I need reassurance about how important I am to my partner, I can get it. T F

Engagement: Are you positively emotionally engaged with each other?

  1. I feel very comfortable being close to, trusting my partner. T F
  2. I can confide in my partner about almost anything. T F
  3. I feel confident, even when we are apart, that we are connected to each other. T F
  4. I know that my partner cares about my joys, hurts, and fears. T F
  5. I feel safe enough to take emotional risks with my partner. T F

If your answers show that you and your partner are completely accessible, responsive, and engaged, that would be impressive. Most people find that that is not the case. If you have areas for improvement, come to one of our Hold Me Tight Marriage Retreats or come in for EFT couples counseling. Successful marriage takes work, and we can help you strengthen your marriage.

 

Self-Compassion: A Pathway Toward Healing Trauma

By | Counseling for Sex Addiction Frisco TX, Family Counseling Frisco TX, Family Counselor Frisco TX, Family Therapist Frisco TX, Marriage Counseling Frisco TX, Mental Health Counselor Frisco TX, Sex Addiction Counseling Frisco TX, Sex Counseling Frisco TX, Sexual Addiction Counseling Frisco TX | No Comments

 

blog article. self-compassion healing trauma
blog article. self-compassion healing traumaFor many people, the word trauma conjures up images of serious life experiences such as war, abuse, suicide and divorce. Many therapists call these types of threat to life and/or safety “Big T Trauma.”  This type of trauma is complex trauma, and is often associated with layers of traumatic events being repeatedly thrust upon a victim.  Some examples of complex trauma include: abuse throughout childhood, a domestic violence victim staying in an abusive relationship, or a spouse being betrayed repeatedly by a partner’s chronic infidelity.

Many neglect to consider “Small T Trauma” and the impact that these experiences have on one’s personal life.  For myself, during my high school years I had a crush on Stacey and got the courage to ask her to Homecoming.  She said yes and I was on top of the world.  Soon after homecoming, Stacey gave me the cold shoulder and dated many of my friends.  The pain of this was like the world on top of me!   Even 20 years later at a high school reunion, I felt the lingering pain of that event.  Some other examples of Small T Trauma include a parent not being there during a significant period in your life, drama that can happen during a holiday with family or a weekend with friends, chronic conflicts with a boss, or impaired functioning at school or work.

Here are some warning signs that you are experiencing Small T Trauma:

  • Intrusive memories or triggers from earlier traumatic events
  • Sudden mood swings with a tendency to be over-reactive
  • Flooding of emotions such as anxiety, fear, panic, anger
  • Being hypervigilent – obsessively focused on past injuries, being a detective, feeling uptight and tense

Here are some lesser known symptoms of trauma that many tend to overlook:

  • Feeling emotionally worn out or depressed as a result of too many days of fear/anxiety
  • Disassociation – or feeling outside yourself as if you are observing what is happening around you rather than being a part of your life
  • Codependency – a reaction to trauma where one seeks to care-take others in an effort to self-heal. This often leads to a neglect of your own self-care.
  • Aches and pains in the body. These can be unresolved trauma stored in the body.
  • Feeling disoriented, in a daze, a flight of ideas, and poor concentration.
  • Chronic avoidance or distancing oneself from people

Now that we have laid the groundwork for understanding Small T Trauma in your life, here are some do’s and don’ts when it comes to healing.

  • Don’t suffer in the symptoms above and think “they are not that bad” or “this is just the way I am.” Healing from these symptoms is possible
  • Healing takes time. Even if you have a symptom free season in your life, it is not a guarantee that something in life may reawaken old wounds.
  • Don’t over-function and expect that filling your life with business will prevent you from suffering. Unresolved trauma will surface in your life.

Here are some Self-Compassion guidelines for healing trauma

  • Self-compassion means slowing down, taking time for self-care and when you make a mistake you gently say, “I learned something important about myself.” I love Brene Brown’s daily affirmation: “At the end of the day whatever is done or left undone, I know I am still loveable.”
  • Meditation or Mindfulness—there are many free phone apps on the market such as Head Space or Breathe that offers a helpful guide to clear your mind and relax. The big benefit beyond relaxation is the practice of  tuning-in to oneself.  Trauma survivors learn self-attunement and grounding are vital.
  • Spirituality is about connection to self, others, God. Spiritual people tend to have a sense of purpose or meaning to what they do.  A common phrase in trauma recovery is “it is not the traumatic event that hurts us; it is the meaning we attach to the trauma.”  Spirituality teaches things like “surrender this to God” and offers insights that can create meaning to our suffering.
  • Break toxic loyalties: carefully consider relationships or projects that are leading you to be overcommitted and exhausted. Set boundaries and/or say no in order to preserve some time for self-care and a realistic pace in life.
  • Remember that F.E.A.R can be reframed to False Evidence Appearing Real or Forgetting Everything is All Right. As you recover from Trauma, you begin to allow things to happen and stop trying to control or manipulate things.
  • Remember that forgiveness is not for the offender it is for us.  Righteous anger is hard to overcome.  When we forgive, we allow more space in our hearts to love.
  • Develop an optimistic outlook. “The greatest discover of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” W. James
  • Slow down. Drive the speed limit; watch the sun set or rise;  play with a child; stare into a fire;  slow your thinking, walking and daily routine!
  • Develop a social support network. Find at least 3 friends that are safe, non-judgmental, and available.  Reach-out and share one another’s burdens.
  • Seek professional help. A good clinician has been in the pit with many suffering in trauma. He or she can walk along side you in your healing.

Remember that you are unique and that ALL your life experiences can work together for your good.  You have a special call and life purpose.  Unresolved trauma can distract and disorient you from your best self.  Practice self-compassion by taking the time to heal your wounds and so you may rise-up to your call in life. Come see us at Center for Marriage and Family Counseling and LifeSTAR Dallas, for help along your pathway toward healing trauma.

Marriage Counseling Frisco TX

Marriage Counseling in Frisco TX: 5 Tips for Healthy Communication

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Marriage Counseling Frisco TXWhether it be in California or marriage counseling in Frisco,TX, when couples are having difficulties in their marriage, they often try to find help for their situation. For many, this help has been in the form of marriage counseling. Counseling can help people in multiple ways, but most importantly it allows them to repair their relationship and get things back on track.

Problems vary from couple to couple, but many may experience a lack of healthy communication in their relationship. With communication being an important part of making a relationship work, couples should be willing to work on fixing this problem. Many go to counseling to try to solve their problems,  where they will most likely learn that there is a certain way spouses should be communicating with each other if they want the marriage to survive.

Here are five tips for healthy communication.

Have an Open Mind

Whenever you are having issues in your marriage it is important for each spouse to have an open mind when it comes to the feelings of the other. You may not agree with everything they say or feel, but at least be open to hearing them out and understanding where these feelings and thoughts are stemming from.

Don’t Interrupt

Oftentimes when people are having a discussion they interrupt each other. This may be because they disagree with what the other is saying or they want to comment on what is being said. It is good that you have thoughts and want to discuss, but it is rude to interrupt. Wait until the other person is done speaking, then comment.

Listen

One of the main issues couples have when trying to express themselves is that neither spouse is listening to the other. Problems are not going to get resolved if no one is listening to what these problems are. If necessary, come up with a system that allows both of you to take turns speaking, so you are sure the other is listening to everything you have to say.

Watch Your Tone

If you sound angry when speaking to your spouse, they may retaliate by speaking in the same tone. It is important that you both are speaking to each other in a respectful manner and tone. There is no need to yell or scream. Not only may this cause the argument to escalate, but it also doesn’t allow either spouse to be heard.

Stay On Topic

It is fairly easy to bring up past arguments when a new one is occurring, but this is something couples should avoid. Bringing up old issues will only add to the tension and anger that may already be experienced by both parties. If the problem has been resolved, there is no need to bring it up in future arguments.

When couples work together to get through their issues, they often find that they can overcome every hurdle they have experienced. It may not be easy at first and many may be reluctant to go to marriage counseling, but when they are done, they will realize it may have been one of the best decisions they could have made. You should be willing to do anything to save your marriage, even if that means following these tips for healthy communication or going to marriage counseling in Frisco,TX.

If you and your spouse are interested in marriage counseling in Frisco, TX, contact the Center for Marriage & Family Counseling at 972-954-2400. You can also visit us online at www.cmfcdallas.com 

Marriage Counseling in Frisco TX
Center For Marriage & Family Counseling
3550 Parkwood Blvd G-706
Frisco, Texas 75034
(972) 954-2400

Marriage Counseling Frisco TX

Marriage Counseling In Frisco, TX: Get Help To Save Your Marriage

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Marriage Counseling Frisco TXDo you remember the day you got married?  Did you ever think you’d get to the point where you’d need marriage counseling in Frisco, TX?  Most people don’t but life, work and children put stress on a marriage that even the strongest couples have a hard time surviving without a little help. One of the biggest problems in marriage is a breakdown of communication.  When that happens, neither party knows what the other wants or needs.  With marriage counseling in Frisco, TX, those lines of communication can be opened back up and a marriage can be saved.  Call the Center for Marriage and Family Counseling at (972) 954-2400 or visit www.cmfcdallas.com.

Marriage Counseling Frisco TX
Center For Marriage & Family Counseling
3550 Parkwood Blvd G-706
Frisco, Texas 75034
(972) 954-2400

Photo Credit:  ©Depositphotos.com/ Deklofenak
Marriage Counseling Frisco TX

Marriage Counseling In Frisco, TX: 4 Warning Signs That You May Need Counseling

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Marriage Counseling Frisco TXProfessionals in marriage counseling in Frisco, TX know that there is a much-publicized statistic that most people have heard about which is that 50 percent of U.S. marriages will end in divorce. This high percentage makes it seem that divorce is no big deal since half of the people in the country are doing it. Unfortunately, divorce is a very, very big deal that causes pain to the couples divorcing and to any children they might have. That’s why couples in North Texas should seek marriage counseling in Frisco, TX before they consider taking the ultimate step of dissolving their marriage. If you’re not sure if you need counseling, consider these warning signs:

1 – Communication is negative or non-existent.

Communication is vital to a healthy marriage so couples who either don’t bother to communicate anymore or whose communication is negative are never going to be able to resolve any of their differences without help. Counseling can help couples to understand the importance of keeping lines of communication open and avoiding saying things that can hurt feelings and keep the relationship from recovering.

2 – One or both partners have had an affair.

For many couples, infidelity is a marriage-breaker. But for couples who still ultimately love each other, marriage counseling in Frisco, TX can help them to forgive and move forward, though it will be difficult. Honesty and confronting problems that may have led to the infidelity can sometimes help couples try to salvage their marriage. If you’re having these issues because of a lack of spark in the bedroom it might be worth giving some natural aphrodisiacs a go. If you’d like to learn more go to this link. https://myaphrodisiacs.com/is-spanish-fly-an-aphrodisiac/

3 – When intimacy is gone.

The loss of intimacy in a marriage can be devastating because it is the one thing that separates a marriage from other types of relationships. Although intimacy generally refers to sex, it can also mean holding, hugging and kissing and these are vital to the feeling of oneness that married couples should have. It could also go as far as not sharing the same bed that you once were. Some couples put money in to buy something like a mattress and other furniture in other to move out of the marital bedroom completely. Counseling can help to open the lines of communication to find out why there is a lack of intimacy. It can also help couples to resolve their issues.

4 – When children are the only reason for staying together.

Sometimes staying together, even though there is unhappiness, is the easiest course of action for couples, especially those with children. But just as children can be hurt by divorce, they can be hurt by living in a home with parents who argue constantly or who don’t seem to like each other anymore. Children are smarter than adults give them credit for and most can tell when there is a problem in their parents’ relationship. A good marriage counselor can help couples move toward a positive, healthy relationship that will enable them to stay married or they can help them to understand that, in some cases, staying together is not in the best interest of their children or themselves.

There is no greater emotional pain than the breakdown or loss of a once-loving relationship. If you feel that your marriage is in trouble, seek marriage counseling in Frisco, TX. At the Center for Marriage and Family Counseling, we can help you and your partner resolve the problems that are keeping you from having the happy marriage you envisioned when you were first married. Call us today at (972-954-2400 to schedule an appointment. And visit us online at www.cmfcdallas.com to learn more about us.

MARRIAGE COUNSELING FRISCO TX
Center For Marriage & Family Counseling
3550 Parkwood Blvd G-706
Frisco, Texas 75034
(972) 954-2400

Photo Credit: ©Depositphotos.com/ Wavebreakmedia

Marriage Counseling Frisco TX

Marriage Counseling Frisco TX: Why it is Important to a Relationship

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Marriage Counseling Frisco TXThough it often has a negative stigma attached, marriage counseling Frisco TX is actually one of the most beneficial things you can do for your relationship. Many people assume that marriage counseling is something that should only be done to stave off divorce. They consider counseling to be a sign of weakness and a statement that you are incapable of maintaining your marriage on your own. Instead, marriage counseling should be seen as an attempt to make a good thing better. When someone is ill, they ask for help from a doctor, just like when someone is trying to build an addition to their home they seek out a contractor. There are some things that are too complicated to deal with on our own, and we need the help of a professional in order to make sure they are done properly. A marriage is no different. Rather than seeing counseling as a sign of weakness, we need to see it as asking for help just like we would in any other areas of our lives. Some of the most prominent counseling areas include:

In-Law Integration

Often people seek out marriage counseling Frisco TX when they are trying to improve relations between both sides of their family. Extended family is an important support system for a couple, and for any children they might have. It can be a comfort to know that you have many people in your life who love you and want you to succeed. However, bringing together two different families can be difficult, and it is not something that many people have much practice with before they actually get married.

Communication

Just as families communicate differently, individuals also communicate differently. While you might strive to have your communication methods settled before you are wed, marriage brings up several new kinds of issues. Many people struggle to find a way to modify their old forms of communication to these new situations. Marriage counseling Frisco TX can provide you with the tools to rectify this problem.

Marriage can be difficult. The problems only get worse when we do not seek out help to rectify them. Marriage counseling from Center for Marriage and Family Counseling can help you understand the issues you are having and improve your relationship. Just as you would consult a doctor to help you deal with an illness, you need to talk to a counselor to help you with issues that crop up in your relationship. Call (214) 250-7808 to find out more about the services they offer!

Marriage Counseling Frisco TX
Center For Marriage & Family Counseling
3550 Parkwood Blvd G-706
Frisco, Texas 75034
(972) 954-2400

Photo Credit: Depositphotos.com/ Wavebreakmedia

When to Seek Marriage Counseling in Frisco TX

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Marriage Counseling Frisco TXAll too often people enter into marriage without fully understanding that it is a relationship that requires both people involved to contribute. When one or both of the spouses thinks marriage should be the happy ending to a fairytale, disillusionment and disappointment are sure to result. Considering that Census.gov reveals that there were approximately 76.9 divorces per 1000 in Texas in 2009, there are a lot of people who would benefit from marriage counseling in Frisco TX. Unfortunately, however, sometimes it can be difficult to know whether you need help from a counselor or if you have simply hit a rough patch. If you’re not local to Texas, you can instead look at a therapist Sacramento based and see if they could help your marriage.

Communication is vital for any marriage to survive all of the tough times that are inevitable. According to the Huffington Post, when you are not talking to each other or if one or both of you are afraid to verbalize issues, the lack of communication is an issue that may benefit from marriage counseling. Along the same lines, you may be talking but, if discussions are negative and typically end in shouting matches, it is time to consider marriage counseling in Frisco TX from a professional.

Marriage counseling after an affair is vital. Future Scopes reports that affairs are among the leading causes of divorce with statistics showing that nearly 27 percent of divorces listed extramarital affairs as the cause. Psych Central recommends counseling even if an affair has not occurred, but if one or both spouses are considering or have considered being unfaithful. Having an extramarital affair is certainly damaging to a marriage, but the fact that it is even being considered is a symptom of other issues. Those problems should be resolved. The best case scenario is that the marriage will be salvaged through counseling but, if the problems are irreconcilable, an affair will only complicate matters.

If separation or divorce seems to be the only solution, it is time to get help from a marriage counselor. The Center for Marriage and Family Counseling offers compassionate, comprehensive marriage counseling for Frisco TX couples. It is also a resource for premarital counseling to help you build a firm foundation before common issues such as incompatibility, financial issues, communication problems or infidelity become turn into trouble. Before you consider marriage or divorce, call the experienced, professionals at the Center for Marriage and Family Counseling at (972) 954-2400.

Marriage Counseling Frisco TX
Center For Marriage & Family Counseling
3550 Parkwood Blvd G-706
Frisco, Texas 75034
(972) 954-2400

References:
http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2012/tables/12s0133.pdf
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/02/marriage-counseling-_n_5412473.html
http://www.futurescopes.com/affairs-and-infidelity/8948/marriages-end-divorce-after-affair-statistics
http://psychcentral.com/lib/7-reasons-to-seek-marriage-counseling/

Photo Credit: Depositphotos.com/ Wavebreakmedia