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Couples Counseling Frisco TX

Understanding Co-Dependence

Understanding “Co-Dependence”

By | Couples Counseling Frisco TX | No Comments

Understanding Co-DependenceFor those of you who have ever been in a relationship where you believed yourself or your partner to be “co-dependent,” it is far more likely that your relationship problems were/are due to something else. “Dependent Personality Disorder,” as it is labeled in the DSM-V is extremely rare, occurring in only 0.49% of the population. So, chances are neither you or your partner would likely meet the criteria for the diagnosis, but that’s not to say you and/or your partner didn’t both experience the struggle of negotiating separateness and togetherness.

Establishing boundaries is a normal part of every relationship and is often most difficult early on, however, if conflict continues to arise each time a person wishes to spend time separately, there may be something deeper to examine in the relationship, and you may be surprised how much taking this deeper look at the relationship patterns can truly help.

So before you write off another “doomed relationship,” consider the potential gains you might experience by gaining a deeper understanding of yours and other’s non-co-dependent attachment styles. If you are interested in learning more about your relationship patterns or personal attachment style call 469-214-4400.

Keep your love alive: A quick little activity

By | Couples Counseling Frisco TX, Marriage Counseling Frisco TX, Marriage Counselor Frisco TX, Marriage Counselors Frisco TX | No Comments

 

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Here’s a marriage enhancement activity that we at Center for Marriage and Family Counseling recommend to some of our couples. Now you can do it too. If you do this with your spouse, follow all of the steps, and refrain from criticizing each other during the activity, the end result will only be that you and your spouse feel more loved. This activity comes from  Dr. Norman Cobb, a professor at the University of Texas at Arlington in the Master’s of Social Work Department, and a gifted counselor.

Rationale

It is normal and acceptable for people to ask for what they want and need from their partner. It’s really. The request for a partner’s actions is a “gift.” It’s a “gift” for your partner because it helps your partner know how you feel loved and cared for. It’s a “gift” for you because it will help you receive what you want and need from your partner. The benefits will be reciprocal.

Steps

  1. Independently, make a list of things that your partner could do that would help you feel “loved and cared for.” Items must be:
  • Easy and quick
  • Free or, at least, very cheap
  • Not involve overtly sexual acts
  • Easily repeatable
  1. Exchange lists with your partner and ask for clarifications.
  1. Take your partner’s list home, place it somewhere you will see it often, and do one or a few of their partner’s requested actions.
  1. When your partner does one of the actions on your list, notice how you feel, and if possible, share this with your partner.

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